The Lethe

It’s not often in my life I can say I have a favourite. I’m an indecisive person by nature. My interests are fickle, fleeting. I’m on a constant hunt for the high of having something that I engage with on a truly satisfying level. That’s why a game of make-believe, which some may find frivolous has an almost spiritual weight for me. I’d like to tell you the heartbreaking story of Alice Briarwood.

Alice was a nerd. A HUGE one. She was always over-achieving and working way too hard but she’d never make you feel lesser for it, except by comparison. Sometimes we worried about how hard she pushed herself. Her hyper focus tugged her along as she endlessly chased a goal just out of her grasp. We were never sure of what that was, but we could guess.

Alice never had a great home life. Her brother, Jack, got sick in his last year of high school and, just like that, his dreams of being an athlete were dashed upon the rocks – along with the Briarwoods’ sense of stability at home. Jack felt like a bad brother, unable to fulfil the role and duties of being the eldest. Alice felt jealous of the attention her brother got. She didn’t want herself to be and neither did we; Jack was our friend, too. I worried about Jack a lot – there was a time where he was, well, “self-medicating” we’ll call it. Now, I’ve had my fair share of scrapes with shady shit but I knew red flags when I saw ’em. We were pretty close until I left.

For a while though, it was ok. Alice had Dakota as a best friend. He was about as nerdy as she was, in different ways. The dude almost worshipped her. We didn’t get along for our own reasons – He once ended up getting Alice in trouble which… just seems petty now. Plus, She was getting closer each day with Julia who seemed cool? She was also a nerd, much to my chagrin but they were good for Alice. I wish I’d known then what they were going through. Both with themself, their family and with Alice.

Finally there’s me. Charlie Barnes. I moved away last year and I was wrapped up in bad stuff with worse people. I thought I was glad to be leaving. I wish I never had.

I’ll start with the beginning. When I got back to Silent Falls for winter break Alice had already been missing for three days. I caught up with the old gang and tried to find out what the hell was happening. At first, I thought it was Dakota. What a world that’d be. Then, our creepy old history teacher Mr. Halvert. He always seemed to have a “thing” for Alice. The rat. After that, it had to be David Nelson. A fellow jock-popular-kid with a snotty, cocaine-fuelled attitude. He was also who I used to sell to. I thought I had done it. When I left, all my bad deals and debts and expectations fell onto Alice. Who can even remember why, now? But it wasn’t him.

We searched the whole town; our prime location of interest was the old rail station. We had caught Alice with tickets a couple times. But the stubs were unused and we didn’t want to pry.

Maybe she'd been trying to leave. 
Maybe it was because of her family. 
Maybe what happened was brewing for a lot longer than we thought...

I wish we were better people. Better friends.

I ended up finding Alice’s body in the Dripping Dagger nightclub. This, just after Ryan Groggins was announced to be missing as well. He was Alice’s ex. And, that was it. It wasn’t anything grand, it wasn’t any of our faults. It was just a jealous, disgusting, hateful creep who couldn’t let Alice go.

I tried to go after him. I shouldn’t have. As I lay here, now, bleeding out in the snow, all I can think of is how sorry I am. How I couldn’t find her in time for Jack to make things right. How I couldn’t find her in time for her secret love, Julia.

I promised to get everyone pancakes after all this.

I’ve played this game many, many times over and I have yet to play a game where there’s not at least one person crying by the end of it. Sometimes it’s me. This is just one Alice. One Charlie. One version of a story that has squeezed tears from our eyes and sorrow from our souls. Alice doesn’t always die. Some secrets aren’t always revealed. Some suspects are never looked at. But every time, without fail, you leave caring about these people. This game, amounting to around three to four hours of focus, has a tight grip on the emotions of anyone who plays it. This is one aspect of why I love it so much.

The amount of investment it is capable of generating in such a short amount of time is unparalleled in any other RPG system I’ve played. Part of it, I’m sure, is in how grounded it is; you’re just average kids in an average town. Another part is how the game makes you occupy characters that already know each other, care for each other. But the truth is, every element of this game is built to make you love the world you create and the people in it.

The game has several tricks up it’s sleeve to help it be arguably one of the most immersive games ever created and undoubtedly one of the most unique: First off, it’s played silently. Entirely over text. This limits the amount of character elements you need to think about when role playing, allowing you to more easily slip into character. Texting also strips away your character’s tools, their comforts. You are alone. You cannot be with your friend. You need to look for Alice. Secondly, it has a timer. The actual gameplay aspect of the system will only last 90 minutes. During which time, there’s a curated soundtrack that plays. The timer keeps the game from meandering and the soundtrack establishes an inescapable atmosphere. Prior to the game, you spend just as much time building the world you play in, discussing your characters, their relationships to one another, the different locations in town and the suspects. This all gives you fuel for the collective fire as you collaboratively build the story together. That’s another thing, there’s no Game-Master. No one person is dictating the story. Everyone has a hand in how it ends up. The final detail I want to mention is a wonderful, cruel addition of voicemails. Prior to starting the gameplay, you record voicemails your characters all leave for Alice. When you record them, you are just as naïve and unsuspecting as your character. When you finally replay them after the game ends, the dramatic irony is enough to break anyone. It’s a beautiful cherry on top of the ridiculously superiour sundae that is this game.

Before I end this ramble, I’d like to talk about the restorative power that games, films and books like this can bear. Sometimes having a safe environment and setting by which you can release pent up emotions is exactly what you need. This is by no means universal, but it’s what the game offers to me.

If you feel emotionally capable and have any interest in role playing, I cannot recommend Alice is Missing enough. I truly believe that this is a game everyone should get play at least once in their lives. It’s the most thoughtfully put together role playing game I know, and more than that, the greatest, most dependable emotional catharsis I know. That’s why I can confidently call it my favourite game. I am endlessly grateful for that fact.